home education · Homeschooling · In pics · Motherhood · Parenting · Self development · Uncategorized

one to one

I took a little time out from most things other than home life and kids these last few weeks. Maybe it was the whole turning 35 thing…

Melodie (age 4)  disclosed something interesting hinting at spending time with just me so I have been concentrating on one to one’s with the kids. If you have a big family or are from one I think you may get this. I think to value the individual child and just focus on them for at least a few hours, say even once a month if possible nurtures an open relationship and a lasting bond. It can be easy to get lost in the hustle and bustle of daily life and chores, and if you are the only adult in the household it is easy to shut off and want time alone but do look for the hints in each child when they are reaching out to you. Behaviours that are undesirable can often stem from failed attempts to communicate a need. Don’t you think? So a shared outing or activity, even just a lunch date is never turned down here. I still do this with my 18 year old son and he’s not sick of me yet!

Full focus and total choice by the child in the way of chosen activity is the important part to incorporate (obviously within realistic terms, so trips to the moon or buying a live tiger is out). This gives a demonstration of your confidence in your child and shows that even if it is hard to be heard over the dinner table there will always be times when their opinion counts, is acknowledged and you implement their suggestions.

IMG_8932IMG_8930IMG_8931

It is so easy to feel guilt no matter your parenting style or situation and I confess I have been a bit distant lately, so this helps to get grounded and enjoy the simple moments of childhood.

Did I mention my son turned 18?! Maybe this explains my absence, I have been reflecting a lot, I guess it is a milestone and there is no book to refer to that gives definitive advice once parenting an ‘adult’ – haha! If you have teens how do you spend time connecting? I would love to know…

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s