it is almost midnight and it has dawned on me that in two weeks not only will I have an 18 year old son, I will turn 35 the next day. This got me thinking, about how life ‘should’ look when you imagine ahead and how life actually does look when you get to that point.
Do I have the things I thought I would at this point? No I don’t, and what a blessing that is!
Am in in the job I trained for, sitting through exams I didn’t feel prepared for or racing for the bus to be on time for my shift, no I am not.
Am I in the country I dreamed about since I was 21, scrolling through pages on pages of real estate rentals to grasp areas, market, facilities of a country I feel I learnt more about than my native home, no I am still in my home town…
Am I a person I want to be, that is an interesting thought. I would say honestly I am becoming her more than ever due to not being where I expected to be. You see I don’t want what I did say 10, 15 years ago. I was younger, naïve and ever so slightly self absorbed. I thought getting myself to a destination would bring satisfaction but actually, it is helping others along the way that has propelled me into being someone of substance, of good character and I don’t say this egotistically. I think when we shed ego, or some ego at least, we can feel comfortable in displaying our positive traits without being overly modest. We are proud of ourselves for doing what we feel in our hearts is moral and just. Of course, there is no need to brag about acts that help others, but celebrating personal achievements is fantastic.
So as I begin to accept my flaws, change what I can and accept my limitations I am proud to hold my banner up and shout for team me, because I am my number one fan and I hope you are rooting for TEAM YOU too.
There will be losses, draws and wins but at the end of the day we must play on, adapting to the rules and the changing of the goal posts. There will be team mates and opponents, fair weather and rained off, injuries, unfair referees and substitutes. Ultimately be an MVP even without the award, scanning the field for every opportunity thrown at you even if no one is cheering you on, or that one player always hogs the ball because what I have come to realise is this…
no one can catch a ball with a closed fist, so open your hands, your arms, your ears and your eyes. Most of all get your head in the game and if you play consistently at some point come rain or shine there is going to be wins.
Now even I can toast that 🙂
Are you sitting on the sidelines? Do you need to change your game? I am rooting for you.