I holidayed in Cornwall last year, my ex partner came along and it was an experience to say the least. I spent most days crying in private from frustration (various personal reasons I hope to talk about in the future). I funded the trip, drove there and even gave him ‘spending money’ as he was strapped for cash at the time. This won’t be an ex bashing post I promise, I’m actually going somewhere with this!
The trip taught me a lot of lessons. I often went off alone as avoided him as much as possible but knew giving my kids the experience with their dad went above my wants and needs.
The saying ‘out of adversity comes opportunity’ sums up that time in my life.
During that trip I read The Four Hour Work Week during my hours of ex partner avoidance! I am a big Tim Ferris fan and highly recommend his podcasts, I listen to them in the bath often!
I also got to take long beach walks and question my self development, where my life was going, what I wanted…
There’s something about thinking as you look out to sea that gives me great clarity and grounds myself.
During the evenings I draughted notes regarding what I needed to do to get myself back on track in life; work, motherhood, spiritually, socially and physically. I wanted to find balance, focus and change.
When that trip was over I had learnt many lessons. Those of tolerance, acceptance, forgiveness.
I also learnt about self preservation. Sometimes you just have to set boundaries to respect yourself and stop negative people stomping all over your lenience.
I realised there must be thousands of women before me that felt so at a loss, vulnerable to embrace change and become strong! I ended up telling myself to follow a months plan, and if I didn’t feel better and capable about grabbing life by the balls I would then seek further help. I was depressed, lonely and weak.
Tiredness is bitch, I was drained but not beaten.
I told myself four weeks, that’s all. No unachievable regime just a four week plan to get back on track and break free! I devised a little table of actions and cracked the hell on with it.
I called it ‘4 weeks and repeat’ to tell myself get through four weeks and assess positive changes, then repeat what works!
Well I’m pleased to say I kicked my own arse and am now going to put this little nugget out into the world for any other mamas struggling for whatever personal reasons. Those who have lost their balance just like I had.
We are made up many parts, our very being needs nurturing in all areas.
Creativity I found was my therapy and it’s time I released my little offering so others can benefit. So by spring I will be an author. In fact I am going to be so brave enough to say I already am.
I look forward to sharing my first book with you soon.